I am my hair’s bitch. Totally, completely, and in every way. I live to serve my hair, and I will serve well and live. (A little Ben Hur imagery there for you).
All this servitude and devotion, but does my hair treat me well? No. No, it does not.
It’s fine, prone to breakage. Frizzy in every way possible. Slow to grow. As fragile as an elderly man trying to cross the street without assistance. And to top all that off and get personal, I had some serious health issues recently, which really messed with my hormones and stress, and ended up causing some significant hair loss. Thankfully, everything is okay now, and it has started growing back, but the damage was done, and I think it’s going to take several months for my hair to get back to its regular fullness and (carefully maintained) health.
So with all this going on, I was slathering it in just about every expensive potion I could get my grubby hands on. I was like a madwoman, running into salons and Sephoras, screaming for the latest and best hair goops. I would fling my credit cards down, grab the most massive arm full of hair products and be on my merry way.
Then I started getting really crazy and actually doing some low-key travelling to get to certain salons that had some super elusive products. I felt like I was on a quest for the haircare Holy Grail. (My actions, behaviour and attitude along the way weren’t unlike that of the crusaders either. Not proud of it).
The results of my quest, besides lots of money down the drain (literally, as a lot of what I was buying was shampoo and deep conditioners). Well, I found a lot of stuff that is amazing to be sure.
But you want to know if I found the Holy Grail.
I want to do this big overly hyped lead-up and build anticipation, but I also don’t want to waste time, so can you just hyperventilate in excitement for a few seconds, yeah? Great, because I did find it.
Olaplex is something that I met in a salon. It was something that I was told would negate any damage that the bleach and dye would do as I was blonded. I quickly learned that this couldn’t be any truer when I tried a salon that didn’t use it in my hair. Shudders in pain.
I was also sent home with Olaplex’s number 3 product to use once a week as a repair type of mask, and holy hell, am I ever a devout and faithful disciple of that magic!
So amidst all the Kerastase and Oribe that I was diving into, I decided to try out Olaplex’s full take-home line. To be honest, I waited on it partly because it just didn’t feel as glamorous as some of the other more expensive stuff I was getting into and the other part was that I just was convinced that it wouldn’t be good for some reason. I have no idea why, but I got suckered into thinking that something less expensive wouldn’t be as good as the mama war bucks stuff.
So anyway, I finally purchased the full take-home line — the shampoo, conditioner, mask, leavin and oil. And guys, I’m happy to say, I found the one. I’m in love. Officially off the market. I love the Olaplex so much, and I’m so happy with it that I’ve sworn off the other (some much more expensive) stuff for good.
I really can’t imagine finding something better at this point, and I’d also have a tough time putting Olaplex down even to test out others, to be honest. In fact, I’ve made an agreement with myself to set my standards much higher and not to test anything unless it really, really, reeeeeeeaaaaaaaallllllyyyyyyy looks insane.
So yeah, let’s break it down one by one.
No. 4 Bond Maintenance Shampoo
This shampoo is to die for. First, it cleans, like super-duper, but in the most gentle way ever type of clean. Also, you only need the tiniest amount. This product is concentrated AF. So I promise you, when first using it, squeeze out like a fourth of the amount you regularly use. I love that because it just speaks to the incredible high-quality nature of the product and also, it makes it so much more affordable compared to other shampoos where you’ll run out of product much faster. It’s both the cleanest and gentlest shampoo I’ve ever used in my hair. It smells amazing too. It’s everything that I’ve been searching for and more. Also, my hair is oily at the roots, and this baby is excellent at keeping the oiliness at bay!
No. 5 Bond Maintenance Conditioner
I had actually stopped using conditioner several months ago and went full hair mask mode so I was scared this conditioner wouldn’t be enough. Boy was I wrong. It’s a freaking powerhouse of moisturization, but in the most lightweight way ever. For real, Olaplex’s conditioner is just as moisturizing as any other hair mask I’ve used. I’m not kidding. And guess the f*CK what?! You only need a little bit (Like no giant handfuls type of thing you usually need with conditioners), and it’s ridiculously lightweight. It’s perfect for my fine hair. I also like to put a little of it near my roots (since my hair is growing out in weird phases I want to get the ends of the shorter hairs too) and it doesn’t make my hair fall flat or get oily at all. I freaking love this conditioner so much, and I can’t imagine finding something better at this point. #shesinlove #dawwww
Olaplex Hair Perfector No. 3
So I’ve been using this bad boy for a couple of years now, and it’s solidly been my favorite, must-have, can’t live without product. I faithfully use it once a week (sometimes more if I’m having a crisis). It’s just the best product for repairing damage, keeping color bright, taming frizz, helping with growth (as in keeping split-ends at bay), everything. It works by repairing the hair from within as it has a concentrated amount of the active ingredient found in the professional Olaplex products. #science
If there’s one Olaplex product you buy (or one hair product for that matter), it should be No. 3. It’s the best thing you could ever do for your hair.
No. 6 Bond Smoother Reparative Styling Creme
This one solitary cream does for me what a whole army of products used to do. And guess what? It does it better than the literal empire of products on their best day.
Meet the Spartan warrior of a hair product to die for: No. 6 Bond Smoother Reparative Styling Creme. It’s a leave-in styling cream that tames frizz, hydrates and protects hair. She’s safe for chemically treated and colored hair, in fact, she’s NEEDED for these types of hair. This little tub of cream does it all. Let’s see, and she protects from heat, UV damage, speed blow-drying, tames tangles, and just leaves you with the absolute healthiest, best-looking hair ever.
I never thought I’d be able to close my drawer (read: entire wardrobe) of hair products, but No. 6 defeated them all.
Oh, annnd. It’s incredible for blow drying and air drying. Not to get all millennial with it, but I just can’t (even).
No. 7 Bonding Oil
This product makes me want to get back to my childhood roots and dance a jig of joy (eight years of Irish dance ya’ll)! It’s so good. SO GOOD. It’s everything a hair oil should be. And it’s everything that I’ve been searching for in a hair oil. I’ve tried about a gazillion oils, everything from the OG Morrocan oil to expensive Oribe and Kerastase stuff, to edible-grade coconut oil straight from the tub. I’ve had some that I loved, some that I hated, some that I respect, but fear. And now, thanks for Olaplex, one that makes me feel safe.
This oil nourishes, tames frizz and whatever other issues you may have, and does 1,000 other good and holy things too. And the one thing it doesn’t do: weigh your hair down. It will not, in any way, shape, or form, weigh your hair even the slightest bit down. Not at all. Never, ever.
I couldn’t even believe how good it was. I wanted to cry over all the other hair oils that I’ve wasted money on. None. I repeat ZERO are as good as No. 7.